I Really Don’t Know How to Fly

But crashing was, and remains essentialfor lift-off,for the release from gravity’s hold,for flight,propelled by intention, strength, and courageThe lack of the latter my tether

This applies to turningupside down too,to bear my body’s weighton my arms, to dangle and swing mylegs in the air overhead,to risk collapse a bump on the top of myhead,an overshoot, anundershoot,scraped knees, bangedelbows, flat out embarrassment,those were simple wounds,easyto heal

To live my world,to see my life from multiple perspectives,inverted, topsy-turvy,from a bird’s eye view,or down the long tunnelof the sweep and span of a lifetimeI needed to risk a dis-arming, a falling into my arms,or perhaps another’s

To soar is to sacrificesecurity, stability, the groundbeneath my feet, the semblance of strength,the walls of support,the affirming nods of those who love the walls, the floorsthe apparent boundaries that surround me so safely

Screw safety.  Once, actuallyagain and again,over so many years,a mere mortal,no, a fierce angel, with golden, floppy,asymmetric hair, shining ceruleaneyes, skinny, stronglegs, and flexible, pointablefeet,a radiance open to everyaspect of every being and all oflife,with wings forarms, who knew how to fly,who, in fact, flies on adaily basis,who has flown,is flying at this verymoment,whose lightness of being,vastness of heart,freedom of thought,curiosity of mind,defies gravity, flips safety on its head,this angelwelcomedme to fly,

Year after year,my capacity for trying,my potential for flying, if not with my body, at least with my lifeaffirmed and witnessed.

This punk angel believedI could and wouldfly,even if I never did or will I didn’t need to believe I can’t spread my wings  from tip to tip, witha wideness originatingbehind the center of my sternum,in the inner sanctum of my heart,extending beyond the edges of my universe,responding, adapting, creatingreceiving, processing, transforming, transmittingthe lift and sway of the currents of my lifeswooping, inverting, soaringto see and be everything I already am. -jaysi, dec 2020, in grateful grief, appreciation, and memory of Kathleen Hermesdorf#KKForever #CarryTheTorch #PunkAngel